Join the club

Oxford University: Making you resort to binge eating since 1296.

Yesterday I went to a wine tasting given by the wine society. Well, one of the three wine societies. The day before that I went to the German society. On Friday there's jazz and cocktails with the law society and on Saturday I'm going off to the university farm with the Green society to plant vegetables. On Sunday I might do some work or tend to my massive stress-induced hernia.

There are so many societies in Oxford University that it's almost impossible to try to sum up or comprehend the selection on offer. British students will be familiar with student societies, but while some unis (though by no means all) erect societies simply to give people with similar interests a chance to get drunk together, Oxford societies really - and I mean really - go to town. Freshers' fair this year was a masterpiece, rickety stalls lined with an incredible array of ideas. There appears to be a new 'Lolita' society, for those who like meeting other people who like dressing up as a Japanese businessman's secret fetish, and I very almost signed up to a new philosophy/discussion society until the kind lady described it as spiritual and I ran away. How wonderful, that at this stage in life between the grinding pain of puberty and the dull grind of working yourself to the grave you can spend a few years joyfully, gleefully, entertainingly dorking it up with like-minded people.


These groups are fantastic as they give you not just a chance to meet people and have fun, as the Freshers' mantra goes, but also force you to spend your time in other ways away from work and away from Facebook, possibly even developing a new side to yourself. There is too much drab conversation in this world, but in societies there's no excuse to be drab because you all have things to do and make and discuss and if you don't have any of those things you almost certainly have something to drink. Perfect.

You do, however, have to be careful about which clubs you attend. I would adore salsa dancing club but I have in fact been once before and noticed that most of the other members are small, silent men who are all clearly waiting for the busty Latina women to arrive. Sorry fellas, it's just us pasty arts students tonight - nice suit though. Societies which claim to be for a particular subject are somewhat of a puzzle, as while some of them do in fact have events and activities themed on the subject in question, others seem to have taken the subject just as a subtle background and then veered off in unexpected ways. German society is for Germans and those who speak German, but apart from Oktoberfest (Beck's and mini pretzels anyone?) the term card is simply littered with business and networking events, because if you speak and/or are German you apparently have no other interests or goals than to be a businessman, lawyer or sausage trader. If law society had anything to do with law I would rather set my eyebrows on fire than attend, but LawSoc doesn't do law. It is sponsored by huge law firms and all of that luscious, flowing money gets ploughed into nothing but alcohol. Q.E.D. I've done societies that have made me happy to be alive and societies that have been stressful enough to cause major bodily collapse (often they are the same time), but the best things are those that are fun, interesting and pressure free. Hence wine and vegetables.

What's with the biscuits? Errr...yes, I do happen to run a society myself. The pudding society. We meet, we bake, we eat until we puke. It's actually perfect, as all you do as a member is arrive and enjoy therapeutic baking without having to be good at sports or serious about a worthy cause. The small and regular cardiac arrests I have as I run around hoping things don't burn into a carbon brick are worth it. And let's face it, wouldn't you rather have homemade oreos than salsa dancers with giant kajungas?